That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Need sex. Gaining weight.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
