She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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