he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Randomize
