The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
Randomize
