Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
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