a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Randomize
