Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
it was like having sex with a tree stump
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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