hotel room ftw
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
