haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize
