I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
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