yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
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