As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
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