When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
I've blown a few things in my day
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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