I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
