What a fucking waste of an outfit
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
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