I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
My underwear smells like fireworks.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Randomize
