I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
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