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okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize
