I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
you guys were way drunker than both of me
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Randomize