I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
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