He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
okay pat passed out under dana's car
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
