im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
Randomize
