I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize
