He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
i love accidental penises.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
Randomize
