If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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