The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
I will be naked everywhere
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
He better not be in your backpack
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
