their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize