I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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