Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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