Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
In America we eat man semen.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
I have feelings that need drinking.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Randomize
