hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
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