When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
Randomize
