So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Randomize
