ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
