I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
