no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Randomize
