people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
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