I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
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