I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
