I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Randomize