Just mADE A PArabola og urine
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
