they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
