why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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