genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
I got inside last night via doggy door
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
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