My hair reeks of homosexuality.
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
