I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
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