She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
