we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
tell your sister to shave her snatch
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
