when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Randomize
