he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
