i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
