Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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