i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
