I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Randomize
