Hey man sorry I got all grabby
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
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