Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
you never un-have a 4some
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Randomize
