Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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