He kissed a someone with a penis
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
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