I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
