so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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