I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
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