I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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