WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
Randomize
