Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
I wish I only lived at night.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
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