Rock
Scissors
Fuck
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
