Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
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