She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Randomize
