You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
