I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize