He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
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