the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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