i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Randomize
