When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
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