Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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