Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
