After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
You left your phone here
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