And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
