my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
I don't think brook has ever known best
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Randomize
