Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Randomize
