eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Randomize