so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
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