tell your sister to shave her snatch
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
