i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
i am craving dick and cupcakes
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Randomize
