Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
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