A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize