the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize