Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Randomize
